Listen, summertime is the worst of the four seasons.
I refuse to believe this is an unpopular opinion as people make it out to be. You know why?
Because there are so many concrete reasons summer suctions. While the rest of you are yelling…
…you can find me hidden in my air-conditioned bedroom avoiding all the jeopardies of the hottest season of the year.
I know that after interpret this, at least a few of you will see the light and come to the same conclusion I have: Summer is for suckers.
It’s so hot .
Unless you live in a magical fairytale country where temperatures are mild all the time, summertime is a freaking b* tch when it comes to the temperature.
And unlike in winter, where you can add endless mantles of robes to get warm, there are only so many seams of invests you can take off.
The beach is never what it’s cracked up to be.
It’s always space overcrowded, sand gets everywhere ( and I represent Everywhere ), and the sea is cold. Next.
Plus, there are actual things that can kill you hiding in the ocean.
One time, a beach excursion was altogether devastated because there were jellyfish everywhere. My dad went into the water and came out with a jellyfish in his pocket.
The beach! Is not! Worth it!
Two terms: tan lines.
It’s only the beginning of June, and already you look at my limbs and are like,” Wow, neat suntan !” and then you look at my legs and are like,” I JUST SAW A GHOST. I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN .”
The next one kicks it up a notch…
They’re always in the weirdest recognizes. And they’re never dres. Sunburns constitute you looks a lot like a spotted cow.
The greatest ruse the demon ever drawn was persuading the world that day drinking is a great idea.
Day drinking seems like a bright theme. And you know what? It is also available. In any other season. But summer daytime sucking, arguably the season in which the most day booze occurs, is absolutely the worst.
You’re hot and melting and cooking in the sunlight while dehydrating yourself further with booze. Whose opinion was this ?!
Summer robes suck.
Shorts are breathes for masochists. Flip busts can hardly be categorized as shoes. Rompers are for babies. I could go on, but I’m too angry.
Beauty expectancies are at peak unrealistic levels.
Oh, is your body not” bikini ready “?! Then you don’t get to enjoy summer! Because it’s too hot to wear real clothes, everyone’s body is on display during the summer, and you know what that intends!
People are being adjudicated left and right because our society has ingrained in us the poison plan “that were” ” right” and “wrong” bodies.
For two months, you can’t breathe or touch anything any time you enter a car.
God forbid you have leather seats! Every time you get into a vehicle during the summer, you’re risking being boiled alive like a lobster.
The next one is something you probably never think about…
Public reserves are super gross.
This applies to all reserves, but public reserves specially. Think about how much sweat and urine and other bodily fluids end up in public consortia every day. And “ve been thinking about” how much kitty ocean gets in your opening while you’re swimming.
Water boasts are exceedingly hard-handed!
Water plays seem like the perfect go-to for those red-hot summer epoches, but for so many of them, you are required to like, hundreds of dollars value of equipment and years of training to be even remotely competent at them.
Riding in convertibles is the worst.
Movies make it seem so effortless and fun, but travelling in convertibles, one of summer’s favorite diversions, is an utter disaster for anyone who has hair longer than a buzz cut.
If you have long hair and you go in a convertible, you might as well plan on shaving your psyche after the go because those bows are never coming out.
Kids aren’t in institution.
Kids aren’t in institution during the summer, which simply is an indication that instead, they’re everywhere “that youre gonna” . There’s no escaping children in the summer.
For anyone who lives without central air conditioning, summer is a nightmare.
There are many, numerous periods when window divisions don’t even cut it. There’s nothing as cruel as not being able to sleep because you’re too hot.
The next one turns up the temperature even further…
Cooking in the summer is a sweaty mess.
It’s already 95 positions, I’ve got the air conditioner blasting, and now you want me to turn on the oven? Are you insane? If anyone has any secrets to cooking in the summer without defrosting into an actual puddle, please get at me.
It’s so sunny and nonsense that you feel guilty if you precisely want to stay inside and watch movies.
If you live in a place where sun is scarce, you feel entirely pressured to stimulate the most of the sunny epoches, even if it’s literally 100 grades out and too hot to move. I’m here to tell you not to feel guilty about staying inside on those days.
Summer is the season of glitches. When you’re not being feed alive by mosquitos, you’re inadvertently swallowing gnats or marching your face right into a spider entanglement. It’s the worst.
Humidity is the actual devil.
Right now, I live in Los Angeles, which is super hot but too super dry. Whenever I go home to New York, the humidity inflicts desolation on my entire being in ways I could have never imagined.
It’s not just the poofy hair( but it is also that ). It’s the unending wetness. The heightened smell of the air. The heaviness. Humidity is not your friend.
You sweat while doing literally anything.
There are some people who only don’t sweat. I am not one of those people. In the summer, I’m constantly be pointed out that I sweat. From every pore of my torso. My knees sweat. My eyelids sweat. My toes sweat. Summer is nasty, and I will never forgive it.
Share this with someone who needs to learn the truth about summer.