= = = = = = > > > > > > > >
Blog

Drama-free Thanksgiving: alternative movie marathons for every feeling

Category: Blog
4 0

From Albert Brooks movies to movies with actors who might have large-scale leaders, theres something for all family members trying to avoid political arguments

My favorite Thanksgiving distraction has always been the Tv marathon. Cable paths like USA Network and TBS would devote their entire programming era to hours of James Bond, Star Wars, Star Trek or this year on FX, 600 episodes of the Simpsons.

But the days of TV viewers zoning out to mind-numbing marathons is coming to an end. With the advent of streaming services like Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, its inevitable that all-day marathons will disappear together with the cable canals that schedule them. Everything will be a option inscrutable algorithm-based selects will clutter your screen, their own families will spend hours disagreeing about what to watch, the gin will run out, and then what will you do? Ive compiled a few alternative movie marathons that you can indulge in when the inevitable streaming impasse touches your vacation celebration.

Albert Brooks movies

Netflix might be moving away from carrying classic films in favor of original content, but they deserve a ton of recognition for licensing most of the oeuvre of humor myth Albert Brooks. Real Life, Modern Romance, Lost in America, Mother, The Muse, and Searching for Comedy in the Muslim World are all available to watch in chronological order. Sadly, Brookss most popular operate, Defending Your Life, is noticeably absent-minded. Your ability to appreciate Seeming for Comedy in the Muslim World and The Muse depends on your enjoy for Brooks, but the rest of the bunch are some of the best screen humors of the latter part of the 20 th century.

Black parties Christmas movies

I wanted to write a whole patch about my undying enjoy for Christmas movies starring chiefly black throws in honor of the handout of Almost Christmas, but who wants to read a 12,000 -word treatise on the social significance of Tyler Perrys A Madea Christmas? In its situate, heres a directory of historically pitch-black Christmas movies: Last-place Holiday, The Best Man Holiday, The Preachers Wife, Black Nativity, This Christmas, Friday After Next, and the greatest pitch-black Christmas movie of all time: Trading Targets. Yes, I assure you that Trading Residences is a black Christmas movie. Trading Lieu stars Eddie Murphy as a good, black grifter who is given a snooty, rich white mans home. When he was discovered that hes being taken advantage of by two even snootier, even richer, older white boys, he alters the tables on them and causes them to go bankrupt. Its a Christmas miracle!

Films starring Katherine Heigl

Just to spoil any credibility I received from the last entryway, I must admit my undying desire for Katherine Heigl. Shes got it all: an ability to deliver horrific courses in bad romcoms; a charm, hitherto characterizing physical flaw( her snaggletooth, which connects DeNiros mole, Humphrey Bogarts perpetual frown and Vince Vaughns weird finger as instantly recognizable physical aspects ), and a willingness to shed caution to the wind and publicly attack the films shes been in. Shes the perfect movie star.

Her finest toil, 27 Outfits, is not available, but such is: the 27 Dresses contiguous indie film Jennys Wedding, CGI enlivened slapstick The Nut Job, My Father the Hero( starring Grard Depardieu and a teenage Heigl ), and Jackie& Ryan. If youve ever wanted to see Katherine Heigl make love with the bothering black-hat pal from Westworld, Jackie& Ryan is your movie.

Movies in which war virtuosoes play against type

Who doesnt love to see a large soul with multiple veins popping out of his head trying to do comedy? This is an important cinematic category, defined by a dark reporting period Arnold Schwarzeneggers post-Twins occupation. For a few years, Arnold would sully his good name in madcap cavorts like Kindergarten Cop, Junior, Jingle All the Way and Eraser. They may have been gross misuses of the worlds greatest action hero, but they surely represented Schwarzenegger billions of dollars. So, every action sun since have sought to imitate this successful formula.

Check out Vin Diesel in The Pacifier, Dwayne Johnson in The Game plan, Jason Statham in Spy, Chuck Norris in Dodgeball, Spy Kids 3: Play Over( featuring Sylvester Stallone as the scoundrel ), and Jean Claude Van Damme co-starring with Adam Brody, Rob Huebel, and Kristen Schaal in Welcome to the Jungle. None of these movies are good, but they all teach a invaluable lesson to viewers: stay in your thoroughfare.

Movies where comic actors play action stars

Who doesnt love to see a small husband wearing multiple seams of dres over his average physique trying to do action? Every great comic deep down wants to shoot beings on screen, dont they? Since Eddie Murphy killed a knot of people in Beverly Hills Cop, every pretender to his throne has, at some crossroad in their busines, chose they too were going to tap into their macho surface and blow some nonsense up and shed a few unconvincing perforates. Kevin Hart has made an entire busines of pretending to be an war superstar without repercussions.

Have a watch of Martin Lawrence in Blue Streak, Ice Cube filling in for Vin Diesel in XXX: Nation of the Union, and every single straight-to-Netflix Adam Sandler movie. Again , none of these are good movies, but they remind you to STAY IN YOUR LANE, DAMNIT.

Movies with actors who might have very large heads

Bear with me, here. You know how some performers seem like they have very large chiefs? Like, they crowd the frame in a really uncomfortable room and appear to be very heavy. Thoughts that resemble large-scale pumpkins. I cant say for sure that these fronts are huge, but I would bet good fund that they are: Kevin James in True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Judge Dredd, Channing Tatum in Step Up, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, John Waynes very large head in True Grit. I hope you invested in one of those swerved TVs, so that you can fit all the very large premiers on the screen.

Movies with titles that sound like soft-core porn

None of these movies are actually erotic, but they could be based on their titles: The Giver, American Beauty, A Single Man, Consumed, Adulterers, Honey Trap, Hard to Get, The Big Short, The Lovely Bones, Big Stone Gap, Fourth Man Out, American Muscle, Swingers, A Girl Like Her, Deathgasm, The Cobbler

Oh, and Nymphomaniac: Capacity 1.

Bad Dracula movies

Does anything scream Thanksgiving than the Lord of Darkness himself? Dracula, Bram Stokers digesting and iconic ghoul, exists within the public domain. That entails anyone with meter and fund could make a film employing the character without having to purchase the rights. As such, streaming services hungry, thirsting and practically asking for content to keep them young and vital will license whatever garbage they can find for a low price to satisfy their nocturnal lusts. Hulu, for example, has at least five separate dreadful vampire movies available for streaming: Count Yorga, Vampire; Blood of the Vampires; The Playgirls and the Vampire; and Dan Curtis Dracula. Dan Curtis Dracula is noticeable for being directed by Dark Shadows creator Dan Curtis. It too stars Jack Palance( yeah, Curly from City Slickers) as the suave Transylvanian. The Playgirls and the Vampire is an Italian cinema from 1963 about five exotic dancers who get captured in a castling owned by a vampire.

If Count Yorga, Vampire sounds like it could have been a soft-core porn more, thats because it apparently was going to be one, but individual producers axed the sex from this schlocky narrative of a ghoul let loose in 1970 s Los Angeles. Maybe only watch these if youre residence alone on Thanksgiving.

Movies starring Donald Trump

Maybe you want to lean into the skid and espouse the inevitable ugly political communication at your Thanksgiving dinner. If so, then queue up these classic movies starring our president-elect.

Trump shows with Hugh Grant in Two Weeks Notice, ultimately sharing the screen with someone with a worse fornication gossip than his. Trump sells pipelines with Wings star Tim Daly in the woeful Whoopi Goldberg vehicle The Associate, in which Goldberg plays a woman passed up for a powerful position in favor of a less qualified being. Huh, fascinating story.

Trump is also in the Whoopi Goldberg movie Eddie, Home Alone 2: Forgotten in New York, Zoolander, and WrestleMania 23. WrestleMania 23, where Trump shaves Vince McMahons head and receives a Stunner from Stone Cold Steve Austin, is available on the WWE Network streaming service for $9.99. To my knowledge, Trump receives no backend royalties for these impressions, so experience them guilt-free!

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Your NameYour EmailYour Site
Leave a comment

Categories

STAY UP TO DATE
Register now to get updates on promotions and coupons.