I Can’t Help My Heart, It Won’t Stop Aching For You

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I reek of madnes. You reek of interval and somewhere, in-between running after you and running away from you, I lost myself.

Theres such clarity in adoring someone who left you in the first place; its familiar, its easy, its the only thing you are familiar. But affection someone who loves you back, oh, thats only messed up. Its susceptible, its an unknown impetu that more often than not comes with the possibility of misfortune. Why would you bare your person naked in front of someone and tell them consent you, when you are able to indulge in the fluent feeling of loneliness cuddling you on the inside?

Its exhausting, you are familiar. I say this with utter conviction that there isnt one for me that can share the load of my shoulders, understand the weaves that tag my person and my spirit, recognized by intricacies of my world.

And hitherto, there I disappear cherishing you like youre supposed to belong with me, knowing that youre already hers.

You are miles, metropolis, continents away from me and yet the distance between our centers seems longer than our bodies. Were hollow inside, trying to define “ve been meaning to” our relationship while the flames run out. Its nearly youth for me to realize this now, after 2 years of nursing on that weve been over for a while, and Im still said he hoped that we havent had our last-place epoch. That we havent had our last ask, our last-place titter, our last-place drive together and our last-place kiss.

As a scribe, its almost as if my obligation is to hold back exchange and ink the words instead. But with you, I lived my terms, I felt my words and I ultimately understood what every great poet “re talking”. With you all the poetry, all the literature cleared feel; and for that Im grateful. I guess adoration does that to you, it either erupts your passions or subsides your desires; and with your loss, Im more inspired than ever, just like Im lonelier than ever too.

Im chasing a figment of our love that exists only in my heart and you; youre chasing her.

Shes beauty, shes peculiar, shes blessing, shes everything youve ever dreamed of, shes everything Im afraid of, shes not me. It interrupts my mettle each time I imagine their own lives together, every time I leave you two to finish what you started, at my overhead. Every time I see you live my dreaming with her, it throbs, it pains so fucking much.

But were poles apart you and me, drawing away from each other second by second. You formerly moved me believe that opposites could be on the same page; but thats the thing about you and me.

Were ever on the same page, but looking at different perspectives; you searching for your epic beginnings and me, Im looking for a happy resolving.

And just like that, we bridge itineraries, every once in a while, you say Hello and I say Goodbye.

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