We’re merely two chapters deep in Nick Viall’s season of what some people like to call but what I like to call Nick Viall’s Tinder, but sadder and with more STIs and already Liz is whack AF. Especially whatever’s going on with the storeys these women are trying to tell via their “hairs-breadth”, makeup, robes, supplements, and poor usage of words.
But I’m not here to explores who could and could not legislate the GED. Or even what happened on nighttime oneotherwise known as the red-faced dress fiasco of 2017because besides the dolphin/ shark/ Tilikum( RIP) costume there wasn’t truly anything to note. Sure, Vanessa’s dress was abhorrent. Christen looked like a contestant on, but that’s all equality for the course. When the status of women are let loose to do their hair and makeup in a pinch and put together whatever they regard an “appropriate” outfit, that’s when shit gets really interesting. Participate: escapade two.
In no particular ordering, here are the worst fad and beautiful lookings from this week’s escapade of( and their respective perpetrators ).
1. Christen aka the poor man’s Kaitlyn Bristowe .
I would like to go out on a limb and assume that this was her just after she woke up, but it’s not. This appears to have been in the middle of the day. Christen is either a neglected sheep pup or an alcoholic, but maybe both.
TF is this?
Seriously TF is that?
ME, “ve been thinking about” Christen’s leopard headband a daytime afterward 😛 TAGEND
2. Franco aka the most underrated Franco friend
Omg, Dave! I love your onesie! Is it from American Apparel?
3. Liz aka Amy Dunne
^^^ Liz’s spiritual advisor.
I call this review “psycho casual.”
I call this seem “psycho medium casual.”
I call this looking “psycho glam.”
I call this watch “psycho white supremacist” or in layman’s expressions, “Donald Trump.”
And this one is Liz after she slaughtered Nick and had to take a shower to rinse off all the blood. It has no figure, but it is easy to repeat. All you were supposed to do is wet your whisker, disregard any modicum of glory you have left in this cruel nature, and be born dead inside.
4. Princess Taylor aka the pinnacle of mental health
As if you didn’t already have a hard time taking this one severely, introduced the adult mental health issues counselor in a tutu and a crown.
5. Corrine aka the white-hot/ sluttier/ not talented at all Janet Jackson
TBH though this is my favorite sound thus far.
She’s giving me mad Shakira vibes here. But less red-hot. And with less of a seize on the English language.
6. Josephine aka the harbour with ADHD who I would most certainly not rely with needles or sharp-worded objects in general
Taking a sheet from Amanda Stanton’s handbook of “off-the-shoulder shirts from Nasty Gal that shouldn’t weigh as shirts.” Next up on the to-do inventory:
being verbally assaulted by dating Jesus freak fuckboy Josh Murray. Good luck, Josie!
Also, these crispy echoing curl are casting me into a bout of depression.
7. I already forgot her identify aka Jaws
And then for Hanukkah my mothers get this duo of really expensive lily-white amber hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them and…it was so sad.
Nick to Jaws : And did you know she cheats on Aaron?
Get a traction, Jaws! No one wears hoop earrings anymore. It’s civil right. This is the ‘9 0s. Too, joyous boob birthday, you sweet little freak.
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